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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Back to the Old Sod


Tuesday April 29, 2008
A timeless afternoon at 35,000 feet altitude
Somewhere between Amsterdam and New England


Nine weeks later, home is on the way. It is light out, and I am sitting in the first row of this old 757 flying west across the Atlantic Ocean. I’m taking a break from a tear-jerking love and death movie, P.S. I Love You, and mulling over the sudden changes in landscape from the India-Afghanistan-India-Europe trek, a tour which will land me in springtime Leverett Massachusetts in another three or four hours. Life moves fast these days—unnaturally so, and some part of body and mind take their own time to catch up. There’s often a funny quality of surreal netherworldliness in the first days of our sudden presence in a realm previously hidden by extreme distance and inaccessibility. Here we go.

We landed at Amsterdam’s Schippol Airport around 7 a.m., and with the next flight at 1 p.m. decided to take the metro into town for a grey morning’s amble in my namesake town, A’dam (that abbreviation is everywhere around Amsterdam, making me feel oddly at home). Tonight and tomorrow the Dutch celebrate Queen’s Day—everywhere town was festive with orange balloons and streamers (the House of Orange, don’t you know), though mostly the town was slowly rising at 8 a.m. The friendly cobblestone streets, quirky beautiful architecture and sight of the houseboats hugging the walls of Amsterdam’s canals tugged at my heart like they always do there—there’s just something so livable and aesthetically pleasing and, well, civilized about the Netherlands. Even the airport, as much as I’ve heard people diss it, seems well-designed and speckled with high culture—there was a mini-Rijks Museum exhibit with a dozen or so original Vincent Van Gogh paintings on display about 100 yards from our boarding gate—when was the last time you saw original Master’s art hanging in an airport?

I had a nice surprise as I was finally checking into the flight queue back at the airport—my brain, after some initial resistance, finally allowed me to hear what for a moment had been sounding so unlikely: someone calling out my name in the terminal. Turns out my good friend Monique, a Dutch national who’s been a Leverett neighbor and friend for years, was calling out to me from the check-in line. Small world: Monique and her eldest son Remer—somehow 18 already and basically bigger than me—are on my flight back to New England, after spending 8 days on the old sod checking out various Universities for him to begin next fall. Remer has settled on the University at Maastricht, which Monique described as a wonderful little mini-Amsterdam and a terrific place to go to school. Lucky man, Remer—what a wonderful opportunity to be a curious student and citizen of the world.

And with that, the journey home begins its final leg.

And in the Third Month Comes Return


Sunday April 27, 2008 2:48 p.m.
Delhi National/Domestic Airport


OK, the always frazzling final Delhi work stretch is completed: we are now cooling our heels at the airport waiting for our flight down to Mumbai, where our return on Northwest Airlines departs tomorrow night back to the states via A’dam (Amsterdam).

Since we returned from Afghanistan it has been more than 40-42 degrees centigrade in Delhi, or way above 100F—brutal. I wilt in this kind of weather—I do not know how people live in heat like this for months at a time. I suppose it’s partly the heat, partly the final wave of non-doing that is just beginning to settle upon me after pretty much 60 straight days of major doing (not counting a couple days here and there in sick bay). But I feel spent—utterly drained of energy, totally ready to come home. Or already be home, really, but first there’s 50+ hours of travel to endure, including the upcoming 24 hour Mumbai window. After all this travel, I guess another couple days shouldn’t be too bad. I’ll just keep holding the vision of strolling barefoot in the fresh growing grass back at Tree Toad Farm.

Upon arriving home, the next wave of the trip unfolds: the months of reviewing and editing footage to develop some finished video pieces from the journey. The idea is to integrate a lot of this work into the new Dharma Boutique web shop/adventure site that I am working on for a summertime launch—so it will be a busy season once I get home. A little time to decompress sounds good first, though.

Sara’s heard about some kind of evening reception on May 1st in New York, something regarding Afghanistan and photo-journalism—given our most recent adventures there, it would seem like a room we should perhaps be in. Though pulling that off barely 48 hours after we land seems a tad harsh to me. But we’ll see. The journey continues…

Sara has a post on her blog about Shira the Lion Cub of Mazar-e-Sharif—if you’re up for a good cry and some sweet photos, you can find them both there. Once I get to a semi-fast web connection, I’ll also try to throw some photos up here on some of the posts where I’ve been frustrated in uploading photos. But for now, there’s more cute puppy photos than you can throw a stick for right here:
http://www.sarakarl.blogspot.com/

But, now that our flight to Mumbai has been delayed by some unknown measure of time, I think I’ll first just lie down on the tile floor and pass out for a couple days.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Love and Death; or, Time to Go Home

Wednesday April 23, 2008 2:21 p.m.
Delhi, Hindustan


It’s hard to write now, because the tears are still filling up my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. One of the many things left unwritten in recent days has been Sara’s, and to a lesser extent my own, adoption of a sick and tiny little puppy in Mazar-e-Sharif and subsequent adventure of trying to heal her up and bring her back to the states with us. She really was an amazing little pup: a sag-e-jangi, or Afghan fighting dog, she had already had her ears and tail cut off, while being bred to engage in the local blood sport of dog fighting. Yet she had a composure I’ve rarely seen in any animal, human or otherwise. When, after buying her freedom from the proprietors of the Mazar Hotel for the cost of 100 Afghanis (or $2 US, plus $2 for a little blue towel to swaddle her with), it was time to drive 10 hours during the heat of the day down into Kabul, she barely blinked the whole ride through—just relaxing and enjoying the ride as a chance to catch up on her rest and relaxation. Whenever she needed to do her business, she’d either give us a little whimper or just hop out of her little travel pouch and do her thing outside—and then climb back into bed.

Sara named her Shira, after shir which is the Dari word for “lion,” and shirac, the word for lion cub. The poor little thing was suffering from malnutrition, some sort of nasty intestinal illness (gastroenteritis, one vet said) which made her pass blood in her diarrhea, spent a fair amount of time either throwing up or otherwise writhing in bodily discomfort, and we picked more than half a dozen ticks off of her over 2-3 days—they just kept appearing. Conrad, and many others, were convinced she would indeed outweigh Sara herself within 2 years, and likely be close to as tall—these sag-e-jangis are huge, I guess. Meanwhile, she was the mellowest and most adorable thing that side of the Hindu Kush.

Shira died today, about an hour ago. Sara, miraculously, had gotten all her papers and shots and vet stuff in order, we flew her smoothly through customs from Kabul to Delhi, and it seemed like the toughest part was behind us. Just as we had gotten her to the veterinary clinic, figuring we’d check her in for 2-3 days of rehydrating and nourishing and medical attention to get her healthier and ready for the trip to the states, she passed away in Sara’s arms while I was across the road buying the medicines and supplies the clinic needed in order to treat her. Maybe… if the taxi driver had stayed and waited like he said he would rather than making us search 15 minutes for a new ride after dropping off our luggage at the guest house; if we hadn’t been the last people to get our luggage off the flight; if the vet clinic had had any supplies in stock, rather than making each animal’s parents buy and deliver everything necessary, including the IV tubes, the betadaine and every last item that took me 30 minutes to find and buy while Sara waited with Shira at the clinic—maybe; maybe, maybe, maybe she might have lived.

But, she did not live. While I thought she was with us for a period of healing and rejuvenation and new life, and saw her health challenges in that light, in reality I guess she came to us in order to die. After probably 4-6 weeks of mostly motherless infancy, eating bread and being eaten by fleas and ticks, losing her tail and ears at the hands of those who wanted to breed her into a fighting machine, she discovered us and we all fell in love. She came with us and had several days of love and snuggling and kindness and encouragement, and just when we got her from the vet in Kabul to the vet in Delhi, she passed away. Ouch.

Shir-e-Mazar, the little Lion Cub of Mazar-e-Sharif, has left behind her mortal coil. I’m more beside myself with grief than I could have imagined possible only a few days ago. I guess I haven’t really let myself begin to love a dog like this since Gemma, our beloved greyhound, who was like an angel incarnated into the hell of dog racing and rejuvenated by the love of my partner Caroline, and the love of my own heart. I feel crushed, Sara is crushed, and sadness fills the suddenly steamy air of Delhi.

I know life goes on, and there is so much to feel grateful for. But man, the last thing I want to do now is stay in Delhi for several roasting hot days and finish dealing with money and shipping details for getting my goods en route to the USA. I just want to be home, and take a bath and stare out at springtime’s renewal in a million shades of green, and roam barefoot in my back meadow, and see my friends and family, and rest. I feel like I’ve lived through several epochs in just the last two months. I’m wrung out. I’ve found some amazing items to bring home, seen parts of the planet never seen before by me, and lived through adventures large and small. Now, it’s time to go home.

Almost.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A weekend in Balkh & Mazar-e-Sharif

Tuesday April 22, 2008 8:05 a.m.
Back in Kabul Afghanistan


Well, so much for flying to Delhi last week. We just couldn’t drag ourselves away yet from this first engagement with Afghanistan—so we changed our tickets (at no cost, thank you Afghan air travel system) and went exploring furthur into the Afghan hill country. Nothing like 20+ hours of driving to get a quick hit of a place.

We launched on a fantastic weekend road trip north of Afghanistan across the Salang Pass high country into Mazar-e-Sharif with our favorite Zuhaak driver, Said. It’s a solid nine to ten hour drive from Kabul up to Mazar, even with not many stops made along the constantly incredible terrain. We traversed numerous landscapes and colorful stone canyons and had a wonderful time leaving Kabul far behind. Landing in Mazar-e-Sharif after dark, we had a mellow night of it, deciding with some regret not to join the several folks from TMF who had also driven up that morning—Tommy, Jila and Constance—as they left the following dawn to visit and meet with an archeologist working a nearby site where, quite possibly, Alexander the Great met and married Roxanne here in the farthest reaches of the Greek empire. It sounded just staggering, and right near a place called the healing spring too. We tried to visit later but our driver had heard of security concerns and didn’t want to bring us there.

I stayed back to deal with some necessary e-mail business, sorting out details of a selection of vintage Uzbek and Tajik textiles I’ve been sourcing for my former employer ABC Home in New York. By late morning we headed out to meet our TMF friends in Balkh—a wonderful quiet little town evincing little hint of its former glories: stomping ground of Alexander and Roxanne, birthplace of Zoroaster, and the place where the mystic poet Rumi grew up until age twelve when he and his family fled the incoming Mongol hordes. We searched for Rumi’s family house, or what was left of it, and before finding it we were led first to an amazing ancient decomposing domed mosque, where we feasted on ripening fresh mulberry fruits, a first for me. After prying ourselves away from that gorgeous building, we eventually found it: the old mud walls comprising the remains of the Rumi family domicile. We found a group of more than a dozen local kids running around, unusually friendly and engaging, though many were girls and hence usually much more reserved.

There’s too much to express right now—having landed back in Kabul, it is now time to finish up everything: FedEx’ing these textiles to America, finishing up my buying here with a few pieces of Afghan lapis jewelry and another stellar batch of great vintage textiles. I’m particularly delighted by a stylish collection of incredible embroidered boots (unbelievable!) and velvet and vintage textile vests and “cosmic smoking jackets” that I scored in the last couple days—I can’t wait to have a little “Afghan goodies” sale after I get home and all these goods arrive—way cool!

OK, time to get up and enjoy the last day here in Afghanistan. More details, and photos, later…

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Mountains of Textiles and Mixed Feelings

Wednesday April 16, 2008 7:45 a.m.
Turquoise Mountain Foundation Compound
Kabul Afghanistan



Well, my heart is a jumble of mixed emotions these days. On the one hand, I feel turned slightly inside out by the whole experience of being here in Kabul, and being at the end of this road trip I’m feeling my desire to be home again, in my own backyard. And, I’m pretty much out of money, and I need to re-focus on finishing my work in India and getting my goods out of Delhi and on to Boston. On the other hand, I feel like while I am here I want to enjoy more of the amazing possibilities for exploration that this country possesses in such abundance—including road trips west to Bamiyan and Herat near the Iranian border, north to the mountainous Salang Pass and over to Mazar-e-Sharif and so much in between.

Also, I am just hitting my stride in the hunt for goods here, at least vintage textile-wise. Affordable decent handicrafts are still tough to find so far, but I’ve spent the last several days searching deep in the dusty stacks of an increasing handful of small shops just bursting to the seams with chappans (the overcoats that Hamid Karzai is rarely seen not wearing over his shoulders), red onion- and pomegranate-dyed silk scarves from Herat and Mazar, various hand-embroidered textiles from Tajikistan and Uzbekistan and the heavily Tajik and Uzbek areas of northern Afghanistan, and these super funky embroidered boots that I’ve scored a nice collection of. Too much great stuff! I wish I had another five or ten thousand dollars and a couple more weeks to spend here…

But, I suppose all good things come to an end, someday. Everyone here says “you’ll be back—everyone who comes here gets it in their bones and returns, don’t worry.” But I don’t know if I’ll ever have again the kind of friendly support structure that Jenny and the good folks here at Turquoise Mountain have offered us during these last weeks. And I know how hard it can be to make it back to some great place across the other side of the planet after we’ve once again gotten swept back into what seems to make sense at home. And who knows how the political and social situation in Afghanistan develops from here—it may never again be as easy to head into the hills here as it is right now, this next week.

So it’s not without a somewhat heavy heart and sense of missed opportunity that I prepare to enjoy my last two days here in Kabul and return to Delhi at dawn on Friday. But there’s also no mistaking that the last couple of weeks have been a Grade A experience of something truly new to me, coming here to a place virtually nobody I know has ever been to and seeing the post-Taliban, post-everything Afghanistan with my own eyes. I can’t wait to get into the film editing mode and put some of this footage together so you can check out a slice of this place as well.

Anyway, time to get geared up for the day. I need to return this bogus “Nokia” phone I bought the other day (which nobody can hear me speak on) and then try to find a different vintage textile market area that I heard about yesterday—as well as find boxes to ship these goods home. I didn’t realize finding boxes was going to be a three day affair! But welcome to Kabul, 2008.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Panjshir Valley, & an ancient Buddhist stupa


Saturday April 12, 2008 9:04 a.m.
Turquoise Mountain Foundation Compound
Kabul Afghanistan

sorry--this is a long post!


Yesterday we launched on an epic adventure far from Kabul’s center of gravity and dove deep into the serious mountains of northeastern Afghanistan. We’d been looking forward since last week to our planned day trip to the Panjshir, but I had no clue that the evening would also bring us face to face with a stunning 3rd or 4th century Buddhist stupa in the hills on the outskirts of the Shomali plains, in a place that seemed forgotten by time and Taliban alike.

We left around 8 a.m., a group of seven: our driver Reza bringing myself and Sara, Jenny and Conrad, the English earth-architecture builder Grahame and Fatma, the Afghan native raised largely in the Netherlands. Two or three hours of driving brought us to the narrow entrance of the stunning Panjshir Valley, or valley of the five lions—a region neither the Soviets nor Taliban were ever able to take and hold from the local people, led by Ahmad Shah Massoud. The Taliban sent a pair of “reporters” to interview and assassinate Massoud a day or two before the September 11th attacks, finally neutralizing one of their most hated foes just before the bull pucky that was about to start flying hit the fan. Before that, he had long outfoxed them and earned his reputation as “the Lion of Panjshir” and the hero of the people of northern Afghanistan. I’ve seen Massoud’s picture emblazoned everywhere I’ve been, on car windshields, billboards, posters, shop windows, you name it.

The steep, stony canyons of the Panjshir were littered with hundreds of rusting hulks of Soviet tanks, some scattered randomly in the fertile plains, some half-buried with only portions of their formerly fearsome iron mass emerging to remind one of the long and violent history still too fresh in local memory. An entire generation of Afghans has lived with constant doses of war, violence and brutality—starting in 1979 under the savage Soviet occupation, then the civil war amongst various warlords and tribal armies competing to fill the vacuum left by the Russians’ departure. Finally the Taliban emerged to offer stability and a relative quiet still remembered fondly by many here. I’m still wrapping my mind around how much Taliban appreciation exists here in the capital and in the supposedly anti-Taliban north: there’s not a lot of black and white here, at least not that my unstudied eye can perceive.

(The post-Taliban history is at least distantly familiar for many Americans by virtue of the largely monolithic press coverage that has come our way: good America vs. evil Muslim fundamentalists, America rides in to save the day. How easy to forget that only months before 9/11, George Bush’s government representatives and American oil company executives were hosting their friends the Taliban in Texas, negotiating oil pipeline deals. When the Taliban were not cooperative enough, threats of an October US invasion of Afghanistan were made well before 9/11—when such an idea suddenly made sense for other reasons. The CIA funded support of Osama bin Laden and his fellow “freedom fighters” during the Soviet war, support that by 2001 had already gone badly awry. These and a host of other uncomfortable details only serve to muddy the waters. But that’s a rant for another day, and a more honest time in America’s future, should that era ever come.)

As we made progress into the valley, we all stopped to pay our respects at the still-under-construction burial shrine of Ahmad Shah Massoud, on top of a low hill in the midst of the precipitous stony walls of the Panjshir. I spoke for a few minutes with a group of young Afghan men who, like me, were ambling about on the two dead Soviet-era tanks in the shadow of Massoud’s grave. As an American, I have generally gotten a pretty warm response—not as super-friendly as Indians usually offer, but not hostile either. As usual, a gesture of respect and a friendly smile go a long way. Sometimes it’s amazing how much can be shared between individuals with no history and no shared words.

Heading farther north from there, the valley’s lush fertile farmland blossomed with springtime’s verdant regeneration. We kept driving on what was, by far, the smoothest, best-paved road I’ve yet seen in Afghanistan. Apparently, the first Karzai cabinet was composed largely of Panjshiris, who deftly diverted many other reconstruction projects’ dollars into their own neighborhood, establishing a modern access route into this remote mountain valley. At some point, the smooth asphalt turns into a bumpy, dusty and pock-marked one lane mountain death trap route up to Tajikistan; we drove just far enough to experience a small amount of that—it’s a bone-jarring routine.

We stopped in a small village en route to score some fresh lamb kebabs for lunch—this is not a vegetarian-friendly country, unless bread and rice suffices—and drove on until we found a good access point to the Panjshir River where we could have our little picnic. I don’t think I’ve eaten lamb in more than 25 years, but when in Rome—well, I’ve tried to abide by the maxim that when someone offers me food, that food is in some way blessed, even if it is not strictly in accordance with our personal dietary preferences. I’ve heard even the vegetarian Dalai Lama eats meat when it is offered to him.

We peeled off our shoes and socks and enjoyed a pleasant picnic on the river’s grassy plain. Ambling afterwards along the river’s edge, finally we took off as many clothes as we could while still respecting local customs and enjoying a dip in the Panjshir’s chilly flowing waters. I looked up to barely notice in the distance a single shepherd winding his way across the massive rocky mountain face with his sheep and cows—a nicer office environment I have rarely seen. Later a few of his cows ambled by, nimbly picking their way along the river’s edge while we splashed and enjoyed a rare moment of frolic.

I have for years enjoyed, though on too rare occasions, hiking and “seeing all” in various regions of high mountain splendor: Colorado’s Rocky Mountains, California’s High Sierra, the Torres del Paine in Patagonia, the icy crags of India’s majestic Pir Panjal. Few things match the simple, elemental glory of seeing a new range of high altitude rocky peaks reveal themselves before me. Just soaking it all into my eyes was a balm to my already Kabul-addled senses. I was a very happy camper.

I thought our day was complete, lacking only the long drive back to dusty civilization. I had no idea that the little sign-post “town” of Toop Dara, most of the way back down into the Shomali plains, held for us such an ancient gem. Grahame had mentioned that he had heard of, but never visited, an old Buddhist stupa somewhere in the hills up there—why don’t we try and find it? The slow incline, up the steep road with no guard rail to protect against a precipitous and deadly fall, became the sort of winding, slippery dangerous ascent that only a minivan in balding tires can truly provide—there were definitely a couple of moments in which we didn’t quite have control; the wrong slip could have been pretty awful. But we persevered and arrived to the end of the road, nestled between two groups of mud-walled houses (bristling with small children) that seemed less like villages and more like extended clan settlements. We caused a bit of a local stir, and walked up maybe 10 to 20 minutes until we came within sight of a round, somewhat decomposed but largely intact stone stupa maybe 30 feet across and 40-50 feet high—an ancient signal from another era.

Grahame said it was back in the 3rd or 4th century that Buddhism was thriving in these hills, making this old spot maybe 1800 years old—amazing. But if I had to guess, I’d say we were the first visitors this old stupa had seen in many moons—we were pretty clearly the most exciting thing this neighborhood had seen in a dog’s age. Before long the few folks we had walking along with us became several dozen people—children, young men, older men. All men, come to think of it.

Somewhere, the all men part got sticky. Some comments were made, some photos taken even after Fatma requested no photos, and things snowballed. Sara and I had somehow gotten separated from where the rest of our group wandered—we stayed near the stone monument itself and wondered where everyone had gone—and we were taking in the sunset gloaming on the far-off snow-capped peaks of the Hindu Kush. We were surrounded by maybe 10 or 20 guys, all seeming pretty friendly, doing our best to communicate over the language barrier. I had a good laugh when, in the shadow of this ancient monument, I attempted to share my response with one of the senior-feeling men with a rifle who had climbed up beside me. We got nowhere, but when I looked at him and said “Wow!” he laughed and said “Wow!” and somehow, I realized that Wow is one of the crucial elements of the universal language. It was a fun moment.

With darkness coming quickly, it was clearly time to be leaving soon—but suddenly our group reappeared and we were all leaving swiftly, with an energetic ripple of “something had gone wrong” and it was time to go now. Slowly it became evident: there was a breach of honor and/or protocol afoot and, as can apparently often happen out here, things had the potential to snowball rapidly into an out of control situation.

Here in the central Asian mountain cultures, the idea of the “headman” of the area, from whom decisions, permissions and policies flow, is very relevant--in fact, a defining characteristic. Conrad just recently graduated from Princeton with a degree in Near Eastern Studies, thus making him the most knowledgeable in history, culture and language of any of our group (even including Fatma and Reza). Nonetheless, at 23, he is a bit young to be our “headman.” But in reality our headman he was, and being as how the leading man of the village or group is the point of contact and negotiation over weird situations like this, it was he whom we counted on to negotiate our way through what could have careened out of hand. Dusk encroaching, a car full of gringos and strangers at the end of a dirt road far from civilization, a sudden clash of honor arising—this had all the hallmarks of something that could get quite ugly, and quite quickly at that.

It was something, watching Conrad and the local headman, a white bearded man with soft eyes and a gentle feel to him, communicating and negotiating a mutually honorable solution to the conduct of the recent hour, while surrounded by dozens of noisy neighbors, protagonists and bystanders alike. I gathered very few words, but the gestures and demeanor were clearly serious, though all along I felt hopeful of a civil end result.

But it was a case study of one of the root realities of life here in Afghanistan: tribal culture has its own very distinct rules and practices, and a westerner like me has little grasp on the contours of this culture. Still, every action taken can cause ripples that I would have zero idea of. And traveling with someone like Sara—blond, white, female and energetically spunky—simply creates its own gravity and external social responses no matter how innocuous, gentle or inoffensive we are imagining our intentions or behavior to be.

There’s a reason many western women visiting here take on the trappings of this culture: covering the head, arms and bottom absolutely at all times, touching no man even in a handshake, making no eye contact with strangers, etc. Even though it seems messed up, unfair or ridiculous—and it often feels like all those things—still, the actual reality on the ground is that, this is how the culture operates here. When a western woman here thinks “oh, I’m just rolling up my sleeves, or smiling or offering to shake a guy’s hand, it’s no big deal,” the local men, with their own worldview and extreme sensitivity to minor gestures, aspects of dress and behavior, are liable to think instead “oh, this is one of those loose western whores we’ve been led to believe the majority of white women are” or some variant of this theme.

I do not pretend to understand any of this—I am very new to this world. But, both during the episode and our de-briefing of it with Jenny and Conrad later in the evening, both Sara and I felt a kind of cultural chill. Here we are wandering about with video camera rolling, being largely ourselves with our respective gregarious and bubbly personalities, smiling and doing our best to be kind and communicative with people here, yet in reality we may be having a completely different effect than we think or hope.

When we arrived a week ago, Conrad said to us: “In Kabul, it’s not a war zone. Outside of Kabul, it is a war zone.” Getting out of here in one piece, even with only occasional forays into the lawless territory that is “Afghanistan” outside this capital city of Kabul, might not be as much of a given as it’s been easy to imagine. As a fellow press person (a western male) wrote to Sara last week: “don’t get lulled into a false sense of security.“ After last night’s adventures, we each had a starker sense of what he meant, and how quickly it can all get weird over here.

In some ways, yesterday’s brush with local mountain culture seemed, in retrospect, like a fairly low-cost reality check. We all escaped unharmed, despite the awkward moments. For me, as much as I’d like to continue traveling about (northern) Afghanistan—Herat, Mazar-e-Sharif, Bamiyan—I’m starting to count our blessings and look forward to another good push of work here followed by a return to the relative safety of India and, eventually, the good ol’ US of A. It won’t be long…

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Istalif: Into the foothills of the Hindu Kush


Tuesday April 8, 2008 11:06 p.m.
Turquoise Mountain Foundation Compound
Kabul Afghanistan

Well, today was a fantastic trip out of Kabul, at last. We piled ten of us from Turquoise Mountain Foundation into a mini-van and rollicked across the fertile Shomali plains north of Kabul for the roughly hour and a half drive up to the town of Istalif, in the low foothills of the legendary Hindu Kush mountains.

I never knew that Hindu Kush meant Hindu Killer, but so I heard en route. What a relief to leave the big city behind—there’s so much more to explore, but I’m a country bumpkin at heart and the idea of a beautiful spring day in the hills was a dream come true, especially after so long scrubbing through the hot cities of northern India.

Istalif—a truly beautiful spot. Very small town, renowned for its rustic blue pottery, and reputedly a site of one of the Mughal emperor Babur’s famous gardens. We hiked for a bit less than an hour up the hill behind the main part of town, through the bombed-out ruins of the town, which was a fierce fighting area directly on one of the battle lines where Ahmad Shah Massoud fought against the Taliban (I believe this was in 1997). We walked directly amongst the destroyed area, which the Talib fighters eventually won control of. The Taliban came into the town and gave the town’s residents one hour to leave—after which they came in and ransacked the entire town, burning buildings and essentially razing the town down to the ground. It took five years for people to begin resettling their homes and neighborhoods.

TMF has been working over the last year or two to develop a visitor’s center and work space in Istalif, supporting the local crafts community, wihc is essentially the entire town. We got some great footage of one of the potters up on the hill throwing bowls on his kick-powered wheel, as well as some interviews with several of the old potter/shopkeepers along the old wild west-style main street (pretty much the only street, actually). Also shared lunch with the shura—the council of village elders, with whom TMF will be working as they integrate their educational programs into the local community.

While there we got sun, rain and hail—full on. We totally could have stayed up there for days soaking up the scene and shooting amazing footage. So much more to tell—but I’m so tired and another long day begins early tomorrow.

Briefly, we had an evening adventure too: after dinner, we accepted the invite of a couple of the TMFers to go out for a drink at one of the favorite expat watering holes: The Gandamack Lodge. Filled with journalists and assorted international aid worker types (and cigarette smoke), it was worth the trip—even though we had to willfully ignore the news that came across the transom earlier this morning: the main group that monitors and communicates the local security situation notified TMF (and others) this morning that there were rumors of some sort of Taliban attack to be aimed at symbols of western life here in Kabul somewhere in the next 48-72 hours. Gandamack certainly fits the bill, I’d say. But Allah was with us and all is well.

Afghan Women of Hope


Monday April 7, 2008 8:25 p.m.
Turquoise Mountain Foundation Compound
Kabul Afghanistan


Today we spent the whole day on our very own unsupervised outing. We called Zuhaak, one of the international- and expat-friendly car services here in Kabul, and arranged for one of their fixed-rate (200 Afghanis, or $4 US) rides across town to visit with a woman running a small but extremely hands-on local NGO. Betsy is an American woman who, three months after 9/11, quit her job after 25 years with US Air and moved here to Afghanistan to try and do something, anything, to help out the people of Afghanistan.

Betsy is the nerve-center of Women of Hope, a growing group of Afghan women crafters and embroiderers, helping them with encouragement, administration and marketing of their goods to the international crowd here in Kabul as well as seeking direct markets in the USA. (That’s where Dharma Boutique comes in.) Monday is the day that the women come in and bring what they’ve made in the previous week, so we had a chance to interview several women as well as Betsy, and of course peruse and put together an initial purchase of their hand-embroidered cotton shawls, and recycled burqas (!) made into little “bottle burqas” for wine or water bottles. Unnecessary, sure, but also a very powerful symbol of how much work we humans have ahead of us in order to build societies of equal opportunity for men and women, white and black, gay and straight.

I’m very psyched to be bringing home at least some goods from Afghanistan that really are perfect embodiments of fair trade and of using conscious trade to share stories and cultures and truly improve people’s lives—awesome.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Shopping in a War Zone


Sunday April 6, 2008 6:58 a.m.
Turquoise Mountain Foundation Compound
Kabul Afghanistan


A quiet dawn here in the compound. The sun is back after a day or two of rain—somehow the cold here seeps quickly into one’s bones, even now that it’s already well into springtime. I hear the winters here are harsh, partly because with the little woodstoves often in use, you can fill your room with smoke but not so much with warmth—people describe spending weekends literally in bed because it was the only place in the house you could stay only mildly cold, instead of freezing.

Anyway, I don’t how these embassy workers travel across the planet only to spend their entire tours of duty inside the compound—as we’ve heard many Americans do while working here. Literally, spending months in a country yet never leaving the protected walls within which they work and live. I was already going stir-crazy after only two or three days inside the TMF walls, nice as this place is. So I was quite happy yesterday to get into town and start exploring, through the mission of searching for goods that might be appropriate to offer through Dharma Boutique.

The overall rap here seems to be that there are a few nice products to imagine sharing with the world, but that prices are very expensive and shipping logistics are a nightmare—so that’s the background context in which my hunt takes place. I do have a couple phone numbers to call regarding logistics; now that it’s Sunday and the weekend here is over, I can start to flesh out that piece today. But first, why not find out if there’s anything to ship in the first place?

The search began, as it must here, with help: a young TMF employee named Fatma offered to join us and show us around, act as translator when necessary (most of the time) and be our eyes and ears in this most unusual shopping environment: a military occupation zone. Fatma, a bright-eyed young woman of 24, was born and raised in Afghanistan until she was about 10, but the rise of the Taliban became very dangerous for her family, so they moved to the Netherlands for the balance of her childhood; she just returned here about six months ago.

We began with the obligatory amble down Chicken Street, an extended lane of carpet stores, curio and “antique” shops (filled mostly with cheap reproductions) that crowd onto Kabul’s most famous shopping district. Jenny came down with us to return a couple of dresses to one of a couple of shop-keepers she wanted to introduce us to. Their shops were filled with furniture, jewelry and old textiles. The plan was to split the day between Chicken Street and another place which houses a number of outlets featuring the work of women’s fair trade cooperatives—but it quickly became obvious that I could spend half a week scouring through all the little storefronts along Chicken Street—as it happened, we barely got to the craft co-ops 15 minutes before closing time, just enough to whet the palate.

I largely avoided looking at the furniture, even though I’d love to bring some back—but until I figure out the shipping logistics, why tease myself too much? Besides, while Chicken Street might be a decent source for some goods, I’m pretty sure it’s the retail place to buy furniture—better to seek out the wholesalers somewhere, though God only knows how the wholesale market functions in a war zone, or whether I’ll be able to suss that out in the week or two that I’m here. I mean, I can always have that conversation with the storefront owners-many will be happy to talk wholesale pricing in bulk—but still, that only works sometimes. But anyway, that’s largely for later. For now, I want to see the smaller goodies…

Mostly, it was tough to find goods I liked. I did, however, discover one super-cool find: a batch of vintage silk shawls and scarves from Afghanistan’s northern reaches, dyed in deep purples and some sort of greens and turquoises. I thought the pieces were old enough to pre-date chemical dyes, but I could not figure out what on earth they used to get the purples! Finally, I resorted to the detective’s savvy toolkit: I asked. The answer: anar. Pomegranates! Awesome—and, anar is the Hindi word for pomegranate, too, so I already knew that word. What an amazing color! I LOVED these silk scarves, and somehow, the starting price was not as high as I’d feared. After my first real Afghan negotiating session, I successfully secured my first Kabuli goods purchase: 17 great vintage pieces that I think I can retail for less than $100, not too bad considering their age, condition and provenance. And the pomegranates!

The other adventure of note yesterday involved our little trek down what passes for Kabul’s ‘high-end’ shopping street, including a visit to a fancy shopping mall, replete with modern-minded young men and ladies in as close to full promenade as this society allows. We entered through a metal detector and were searched by armed guards—it was hard to miss the stack of several heavy rifles lying on the ground beside the door, presumably waiting to be reclaimed by patrons on their way back out onto the streets. Okay. As Fatma commented on our way in, “now we are in Dubai.” Only the very wealthy come here to shop, see and be seen.

I felt claustrophobic—so not my environment of choice, yet so clearly the place to go, here. Good to experience, I guess. We were there to grab a little tea and a snack, so we wandered through the maze and settled into a little cafĂ© in the back on the ground floor. The other patrons—almost all men—looked like cast-offs from a Russian mafia flick starring Jean Claude Van Damme. I mean, one group featured a lean young man dressed in a slick, shiny grey plastic suit, a bunch of extremely scruffy street-hood pals, and at least one big, stocky guy barely stuffed into his bulletproof vest-cum-ammo storage jacket—I felt like I was in a bad B movie. The tea was good, but the best they had for “biscuits” was a box Fatma picked out of orange cream wafer cookies—Sara, and later Jenny, both agreed they hadn’t seen (or eaten—they were more adventurous than I) such critters since roughly 3rd grade. The weirdest snack break I’ve had in quite a while.

Then, it was back on the street, walking the 10 minutes back from the “city center” to Chicken Street again. I don’t think I’ve seen so many armed men since my trip to Chiapas just after the whole Sub-Commandante Marcos/Zapatista Liberation Army episode emerged in Mexico: every bank here had a couple armed guards out front, often standing with their hands very ready to squeeze off a few rounds at a moment’s notice. White trucks with huge blue block letters proclaiming “UN” sporting massive antennae on the front of their 4x4s, apparently there to jam the nearby cell phones, jockeyed for position with the official police vehicles, their open truck beds often stuffed with multiple heavily armed forces, presumably with law and order in mind, though it was pretty hard to tell. The sight of one well-armed man standing by some nice Toyota truck while talking on his mobile phone blurred into the next armed sidewalk dweller—after a while, it seemed like this was normal life here. Arms R Us. A walking war zone.

One of the warnings we’ve received about walking in public is never to allow a crowd to form around us—the danger quotient gets too unpredictable, I guess. This only happened twice to us yesterday, each time a little weird. The first one, I recognized with the instincts of someone who’d been there before—in itself, a strange thing to feel inside myself. The second time, strolling down the sidewalk returning from little Dubai, Sara in full film mode found herself in a fun feeling little moment with a sidewalk food seller and his pals. She was laughing, they were friendly and smiling; I turned around and they were offering her a peeled cucumber (of sorts) to eat, and she was trying to take it while still filming—it all seemed good.

But Fatma was beside me maybe 20-30 feet away, and she said to me “I don’t like the crowd that is forming around them.” Because Sara is wearing headphones and I have a small lavalier microphone clipped onto my shirt, I can speak to her even while we are separated by distance. So I said, “Sara, it’s time to keep moving” as a little nudge along the way. She was right in the middle of her moment, though, and it was a friendly one, so she was lingering on the farewell. But I’d already internalized the “don’t let crowds form around you” dictum, so my hair triggers were being fully activated by now. Finally, after a second “time to go” went unheeded, I kind of barked at her a little harshly: “Sara! It’s time to go!” She looked up at us, got the message, and disengaged—earlier than she wanted to, for sure. It all felt a little funny. But shit, I guess that’s part of the price we pay for exploring—with a video camera, no less—in a land where everyone is armed and dangerous, and we really, let’s face it, do NOT know the rules on the streets here.

Anyway, we made it back to the compound safe and sound, me cradling my old silk scarves. Sometimes, being back in the compound feels pretty good.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Landing in Kabul


Thursday April 3, 2008 6:30 a.m.
Turquoise Mountain Foundation Compound
Kabul Afghanistan


OK, a few too many thoughts rollicking around my noggin as I awaken here on my first morning in Afghanistan. In no particular order:

First, the obvious: we arrived safely on the Afghan national airline, Ariana (a/k/a “Scariana”), no worries. All is well.

The TMF compound here is pretty darn nice. Gardens in full spring awakening, old architecture still surviving in a few places, comfy kitchen access and food galore, slow but occasionally functional wi-fi internet, totally normal and safe feeling. Safe. And yet, as we felt out the parameters—“so, what can we do on our own? How far can we wander outside the compound?”—the cold splash came. “Outside the compound? Oh, no. Don’t do that. That wouldn’t be good.” Of course, there will be leaving with drivers and guards and translators, and that’s another story. But Jenny’s friend Conrad, who came to scoop us up at the airport with an (apparently) unarmed driver, speaks quite a bit of Dari, the dominant local language, so going outside with just him might be an occasional option. But overall, this is not a town where we will be wandering about by ourselves, at least not now.

Staying in my friend Jenny’s room, while she bunks with her friend across the hall. Somehow, her bed here appears to be, in fact, the most uncomfortable mattress in Asia—and that’s saying something! There is a massive metal frame around the edge, bumps and divots and various metal feeling protrusions scattered throughout the sleeping surface—just dandy. I’ll dig into it later, but one corner on the foot end literally sinks into the corner of the room, lower than the head side, and the other foot corner, by probably 15 inches. ?? Guess I’ve gotten used to flat-ish bedding, softie that I am.

Conrad and Jenny told us some stories last night, illustrating the “careful how and where you step” lesson. Lesson One was: cops here suck. Not like “cops suck” in America. No, cops here really suck. Like, ‘hey this guy doesn’t speak Dari and I speak no English and who really knows so, just to err on the safe side, I’d better arrest him’ kind of suck. One can only imagine how much fun that is, and what kind of involved and expensive affair it might be to extricate oneself from such a little adventure with the local constabulary. Think I’ll try to avoid that one myself.

The smell of burning diesel (mostly from generators) leaves a burn in the back of my throat I’d just as soon forget, but with which it appears I must make my peace during my time here. As much as I am sensitive to pollution and various forms of environmental degradation in America, the US feels like prehistoric Eden when it comes to the obvious, visible, smellable trash and toxicity one absorbs across the ponds. Trash here wasn’t obviously as overwhelming along the drive from airport to compound as it is across India, but the fumes and petrol discharges here are nasty and apparently ever-present.

Conrad is the assistant to Rory Stewart, the head and founder of TMF—lots of stories there I’m sure. Conrad’s a very bright and nice young American, Princeton-trained (he and Jenny were in the same college eating club, years apart!) and on his toes. I hope he and I can do some unsupervised roaming through town, I already am impressed by his language skill and capacity to negotiate random situations. Good guy. He thinks my stab at growing out a “Taliban-friendly” (or at least, Afghanistan-friendly) beard is impressive and well done, but also offered to bring me to a salon he knows where I could get my beard trimmed “in the local style” as he put it, complete with haircut/trim and head massage. The whole thing sets him back $4, which he explained as being high, but guaranteeing him a fresh clean blade and good service with a smile.

OK, the guns. The departure from the airport en route across town and back to the compound demanded running the gauntlet of road security. We passed dozens of vehicles and many armed men in two or three different areas—the largest and most uncomfortable of which had essentially blockaded the main highway near the airport and were waving some cars down and allowing others to pass unmolested. The thing is, it wasn’t at all clear who the armed forces were—they were not US Army nor NATO troops, not “coalition” troops of any kind. They were however, sitting menacingly on trucks loaded with RPGs (rocket propelled grenades) and mounted machine guns and appeared ready to write their own rules. (Seeing the guy in the photo, well armed but masking his face, wasn’t exactly a confidence builder.) Conrad said, more nonchalantly that I might have expected, “the thing is, I’m not really sure who these guys are, or who commands them. Or why they are here exactly.” Maybe they were looking for someone in particular. But there sure wasn’t anyone else making them leave. Who runs this place?

Reassuring as that no doubt was to someone, it sure seemed unusual, and a bit unnerving, to me. Still unclear why the truck with three white folks was waived through while some others were being stopped and questioned, but I wasn’t asking too many questions as we drove on through. I snuck a photo or two in, and Sara got a moment or three of drive-by video in—but we both caught a moment where a fighter sitting on the back of a truck cradling a large loaded ordnance distribution device of some sort saw her filming and firmly held her eye in a most un-smiling manner as we drove by. She quickly ducked her camcorder down out of sight and we hoped that was just a moment, not to be followed up by being stopped and grilled all about it. Still, it was a bit chilling. We drove on through, unmolested.

Life is stirring now, the families just on the other side of our window, outside the compound, are doing their morning thing and the birds are chirping. Can I mention how nice it is to be back in mountain springtime, and out of the steaming swelter of Delhi’s version of “spring” weather? Today we will go with Jenny to check out one of her main projects: Murad Khane, the old market district that TMF is working to restore and revive. Today, we begin to see Kabul, and meet Kabulis.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

To Afghanistan

Wednesday April 2, 2008
Abracadabra GH, Delhi

After all the thinking and weighing and wondering and absorbing global concern about it, it's time: we are going to Afghanistan today. The taxi to Indira Gandhi International Airport arrives in about half an hour, so this’ll be a quick note.

Sadly, we had bad news from Kabul yesterday: a young (26 year old) colleague of our friends at Turquoise Mountain Foundation, Anna, with whom Sara and I had corresponded while getting the details settled regarding this whole trip, died suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday from a fall off the horse she was riding. Total shock, and everyone there is freaking, accordingly. Utter tragedy, and only points more poignantly to the ultimate fragility of life that makes itself known whether planning a trip to Afghanistan or trying to survive a few weeks in Delhi, or in New York for that matter. Very difficult moment. And surely an awkward one for our arrival. But what to do?

Surprising absolutely nobody who knows her, this is what one of my friend Jenny’s TMF colleagues wrote about her to us in an e-mail yesterday about the difficulties of this moment:

Jenny has been absolutely marvellous looking after all of us, baking cookies and buying flowers for Anna. She is the heartbeat of this organisation, as you will discover.

For all of you who know her, the image of Jenny Hartley being the heartbeat of a home or community, baking cookies as an act of sublime spiritual love and worldly comfort is anthemic. God I am so happy to be seeing her, and to be visiting her at this incredible place in her life and at the intersections of her life, work and passions.

I am feeling incredibly positive about this trip. My first to a war zone, I guess, yet suffused with deep calm and a feeling of peacefulness and presence. I feel utterly unafraid. While being conscious of the obvious dangers and the need for sensitive comportment and discretion given the local environment I’ll be living and operating within, I feel totally at peace and simply unflustered by or afraid of the potential for “terrorist” doom or downside. I am looking forward to expanding my world, and experiencing the Afghan people on their own terms, in their own realm, and learning and opening to another side of life’s amazing adventure of social and cultural unfolding.

Somehow, I have this feeling my life will never be the same again, after this trip.

Love you all, and I’ll be in touch.

A Week in Radhe Radhe Land


A few scattered thoughts looking back on a week spent in Vrindavan, the sacred land of Lord Krishna’s youthful exploits. We are now back in Delhi, at the Abracadabra Guest House complete with A/C, half-decent electricity (supplemented by our new maha Voltage Stabilizer and power strip!), finishing up work and regrouping for departure soon for Kabul.

Finally survived the Holi festival, unscathed this time by the touch of color soaking the whole area. I’ve much enjoyed the last couple years’ Nathdwara-style Holi—purely temple Holi, natural colors and sweet energy. Here, while amazing I hear, it’s more of the cheap, super-chem colors and more aggressive street approach—so I just hunkered down and enjoyed two days of down time here at the MVT guest house. Sara had her little moment of hitting the nearby streets for some color play, but the scene quickly showed how some good fun can turn dangerous on a day where India’s tight social restrictions are loosened and boys can feel free to roam in packs flexing their hormones. She made it back fine, and a week in Vrindavan settled in from there.

There were too many vignettes along the way to flesh out now, far from Vrindavan and back in the steamy confines of Delhi’s pre-trip packing frenzy. Enjoying the passing Vraja lila with Shyamdas and friends, including Vittaldas and Stefan ji and Hans all in from New York, locals Chandi and Kusha, Govind and others, an outdoor music offering for Milan Baba which I managed to record on 24 bit/96 kHz, along with Punditji’s Sanskrit talk afterwards on the site where one of Krishna’s divine plays, the Ras lila, was enacted many years ago. A couple of visits to Neem Karoli Baba’s ashram where we had a brief and sweet Siddhi Ma darshan and some nice hang time in his takhet room, where he used to hang and give darshan years ago. A few romps through the colorful and windy Loi Bazar through the incense and sacred cloth merchants, the temples and the mala walas. And, finally for me, a reconnection with the first baba I ever really hung with in India, during the first week of my first time on India’s sacred soil. His Kaladhari Ashram was hard for me to find again, ten years removed from my days of trodding its lovely ground amongst the ambling of some of my favorite cows in India—but I finally made it there again, during our last couple days in the area. A nice reconnect.

So much to share, but so much packing to do now as well. Maybe later, I’ll get some of this down. Though with Kabul looming, it’ll all probably be swept away in the unfolding spiral of it all…

Below is a photo of a man making and tuning a harmonium on the roof studio of a famous shop (DMS) in Old Delhi, on a quiet Sunday when the work was closed. Across the street the view from the window in front of him was the main spire of the Jama Masjid—stumbling across this man and his colleague was a special treat—film someday as well…

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